If you are invited to a Japanese tea ceremony, how should you avoid being rude?

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The Japanese tea ceremony is more than a ritual; it is a respect and appreciation for the culture of the land of the “rising sun”.

The Japanese tea ceremony is a highly solemn ceremony revolving around enjoying tea. From inviting guests to cleaning brewing equipment, even how to scoop out tea leaves is meaningful. The deeper purpose of the tea ceremony is respect and appreciation – of the dishes served, the host’s efforts, and the other guests. That respect starts at the most basic level, by following the rules of etiquette.

Basic etiquette of the Japanese tea ceremony

A few simple rules should be followed when attending a tea ceremony:

– On-time.

– Take off your shoes. Your host will provide slippers.

– Wear appropriate clothing. Traditionally, the proper attire for a tea ceremony is a kimono. Traditional Western clothing is also acceptable, but a kimono will always be appreciated.

Etiquette when in the tea room

– When in the tea room, some additional rules apply.

– Let the host arrange a seat for you.

– Kneel. Avoid stepping in the middle of the carpet. Use closed fists when touching the rug instead of using the palm of your hand (for cleaning).

– Turn the cup slightly to avoid drinking from the front where the last guest’s lips touched.

– Eat what is offered.

– Show respect.

The position of guests in the tea room is essential, and there will always be a prominent guest called Shokyaku. This guest has the critical task of communicating with the host and showing appreciation for the host’s efforts.

Even if you’re not the primary guest, you should focus on showing respect and appreciation. Observe everything around the room. These have been specially selected and carefully arranged. Find something to compliment or ask questions about – like tea, cups, scrolls, or flowers – and pass the message through Shokyaku. Don’t flatter the host, but show sincerity.

Hold the tea with both hands.

Use both hands when drinking a beverage, especially when the beverage is matcha mixed in a tea ceremony. A Japanese tea cup (or bowl, in the case of matcha) may be small, but etiquette dictates that you should hold the cup in your right hand and support the bottom of the cup with your left hand.

Using two hands when holding, giving, or receiving an item is considered excellent manners – a sign of respect for the object and the person giving it. The custom of holding cups and bowls with both hands shows cultural respect and appreciation. Holding the teacup with both hands also helps keep the teapot longer.

Be careful to hold it properly if you’re drinking matcha or one of the many other flavored Japanese teas. The same principle applies to drinking sake, coffee, or even water – holding the cup with both hands symbolizes a deep level of gratitude for the drink and the person serving it. Even casually, having a cup carefully is considered polite and graceful and will be appreciated by everyone around you!

Pay attention to sipping.

At the heart of a tea ceremony is mindfulness, paying attention to each step of preparing the matcha bowl – each guest can intentionally choose the bowl design. The homeowner will also orient the bowl so that the design faces you and you can appreciate the beauty of the cup.

This also means that the most exciting side of the bowl is facing you. The host presents it this way to ensure that you, as his guest, receive the best possible treatment.

With the fingers of your left hand supporting the bottom, you can hold the cup in your right hand and rotate it slightly to see the design from all sides. Paying close attention to having the cup allows you to enjoy the warmth and flavor and experience the tea without rushing.

Show gratitude

However, it’s common courtesy not just to pick up the bowl and enjoy its contents. It is suitable to show your respect to the universe for providing the tea and acknowledge your host’s care by showing humility.

So the general process goes like this:

First, before picking up the bowl, you direct your attention to the guest in front to ask permission to drink tea together. Then, you also apologize to the guest who comes later for drinking first. In doing so, you are being polite and acknowledging the other person’s presence; it’s the people creating this special moment with you. Then you pick up the bowl and lift it into the universe in thanksgiving.

Once done, rotate the bowl 90 degrees clockwise to avoid drinking from the front. This is a humble gesture to inform the host that you have grasped their intentions. At the same time, it shows that you have enough delicacy to keep the bowl from being unnecessarily unclean.